NEW FLORIDA RESIDENT BLOG

Welcome to Florida. If you personally know me, you know I don't brag.  I don't tolerate braggarts and have never exaggerated since the dawn of time; however, I will talk endlessly about the honeymoon destination my wife and I took to the Caribbean.  The island was perfect, the resort amazing and our favorite activity soon became spending time at the swim up bar. Often, new arrivals to Florida will ask if swim up bars are popular here.  Until now, I have been non committal, but in the spirit of the season I will share something.  I frequent the best swim up bar, not just in Florida but THE ENTIRE WORLD! And most people that have gone to it, don't even realize it is one.  Of course the first thing you need to go to the best swim up bar in the world is a boat. That's right, a boat. In order to get to the best swim up bar in the world, you need to take your boat from Sarasota Bay into the Gulf of Mexico.  From there navigate to the Ritz Carlton on Lido ...

You tell me. ©John Gaudiano

Welcome to Florida. Years ago, when I was on active duty I had the opportunity to work with the French Army.  Nice guys with funny equipment and Renault Cars, painted desert sand.  I always thought they were brave because, who wants to go to war in a Renault?  At any rate, I was on a big mission with some of them and at the conclusion their commander invited me and my team to breakfast to celebrate. Okay, I'm an American and eat like one.  Apparently in France the big breakfast concept hasn't caught on.  Seriously, one croissant and a half cup of whole milk doesn't do it for me.  But it's the trade off you make with the French. There's also a big trade off for waterfront food in Florida.  If there's a tremendous view or a great marina, chances are the food, if edible, will be bland and leave you wishing you were at the Olive Garden.  However, if you know that on the way in, and have the proper expectations you'll be fine.  Or you'l...

Welcome to Florida. Sometimes new arrivals will have a tough time with some terms that are unique to Florida and sometimes the concept of how we live will confuse folks.  On the West Coast of Florida for example, our Ocean is the Gulf of Mexico and the tides can be as infrequent as once a day.  For someone moving here from a fishing village on Cape Cod, that's a nearly impossible concept to comprehend. I was reminded about how things can be difficult for brand new residents when I was showing a midwestern couple and their Realtor around a new listing that we have.  As I gave a tour, I took time to showcase how the Loggia would be an ideal after dinner retreat with it's garden and lake view.  Then the Realtor for these very nice people asked me what a Loggia was. WHA-AAT?!?! Seriously, if you are buying a home in the state of Florida and your representative is unsure of what a Loggia is, find new representation!  I mean most people know what a Lanai is, a...

Welcome to Florida. As a child I heard the story of the Pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock, making friends with the Native Americans and having a swell dinner to give thanks for their bountiful life.  I visited the park at Plymouth Rock and even saw the re-enactors and the animals that had been genetically engineered in reverse (so the cows had long hair like in the 1600's).  I thought it was the coolest thing ever and was excited it all happened so near where I was growing up! But then I started 6th grade. As you are probably aware, unless you attended a subpar elementary school, the Pilgrims didn't originally land at Plymouth Rock.  The actual story about landing on Cape Cod and the desperate search for fresh water is more interesting and carries more life lessons - but it is much more complicated so is glossed over until 6th grade. But the bigger lessons are still solid.  If you go to a new place, you need the help of the locals to start your life.  Yo...

Welcome to Florida. I have a customer that travels all over the United States on business and leaves his wife and daughter home alone for extended periods.  For Christmas last year, he gave them both 9MM handguns and lessons.  That's how guys' brains work.  But if you have you have young kids in the house, loaded handguns might not seem like the best idea in the world.  (It makes me feel uncomfortable and my son is too young to walk or hold stuff.) Plus, I sleep walk. In fact, I have actually fired a fully automatic machine gun when I was completely asleep.  SIDE NOTE: There is no worse way I know to wake up, than to be firing a machine gun and unsure of who or what you are shooting at.  On this backdrop, my wife suggested that I only have weapons in the home that  may be slightly less lethal while sleep walking. Since the stun laser guns on Star Trek haven't been invented yet, I decided to go with Native America weapons.  In a pinch they ...

Welcome to Florida. As a kid I remember one "Rage Against The Machine" type of sticker, that lots of kids liked, which was the "Skateboarding In Not A Crime" design.  It made a statement about how authority figures can make bad inferences about someone based on their activities or hobbies.  There was a news story this week about someone being questioned by police because he played Frisbee golf (seriously, you should Google it).  The message is essentially, judge someone by their actions not their interests.  It makes sense. At any rate, I thought about this recently because in parts of Sarasota, Skateboarding is a crime.  The police will get involved but, it's primarily downtown and more of a safety issue.  Of course, some people do think it's just a way to keep some neighborhoods, kid unfriendly.  I don't believe that, I'm more of an optimist.  I mean if I thought this sort of thing actually happened, I would have spent time trying to make my...